The Power of Taking the First Step

There is power in beginning imperfectly.

I get it: you’d like to wait until you’ve got things just right. You’re not alone! So often we hold back on putting ourselves out there, looking within, or trying something new and unfamiliar until we’ve got ourselves or our lives exactly the way we think they should be. And we’ve got all kinds of logical, rational reasons for this. Maybe we believe we’ll have a higher chance for success or a greater impact on others in more positive ways if we can just start from that perfect place. Maybe we believe not trying at all will feel better than trying and failing would. But here's my hunch: we’re simply feeling fear.

The good news is that feelings are temporary! Fear is a feeling; courage is not. Courage is a state of mind, an intention, a way of living and moving in the world. You build courage like a muscle, and you don’t have to be fearless to start building it right now. In fact, if you’re reading this blog, you’re already working your courage muscle. So next time someone asks, “Have you been working out?” You can 100% tell them “Why yes, yes I have,” and thank them for noticing while you flex your courage-cep!

Courage begins with a simple, single choice to start. It’s simple, but it’s not easy a lot of the time because of all the stuff that we’re taught to carry through our lives that makes courage heavier to lift. We fret over how embarrassing it could be if we fail or what people will say if we stretch our courage too far. But try rewinding in your mind to a memory of a time you saw a child learning to walk. How much effort did courage take them? It’s exceedingly rare to see a baby, when they have just discovered that they have legs, sitting stuck on the floor muttering self-consciously about what people will think if they try to walk and splat. And I’ve heard very few stories lately about babies crawling laps around a playroom in tiny diapered cliques saying to one another, “That new kid is so uppity – did you see her trying to get up on her legs and walk?! Little Miss I Think I Can Toddle sure has a surprise coming her way when she tries to do that with booties on!” When we’re brand new humans, we haven’t yet taken on fears about what others will think or how embarrassing falling can feel, so when we discover we have legs down there kicking away, we’re immediately free to play and get curious about what else our legs can do! And that’s how we take our first first steps.

But by the time we’re grown, new first steps can feel harder to take. They often take more courage, because when we’re trying to build that courage muscle we’re also trying to lift the weight of all the expectations we perceive others having of us and the expectations we’re in the habit of putting on ourselves. One key to overcoming all that fear and worry can be returning to the ways we took our first first steps. What can you do today to make that step you’re struggling to take feel like play? What if you freed yourself to toddle away, fall, laugh with yourself, and get up and play some more?

The last key piece of first steps wisdom is also one you can learn from your wise inner kiddo: keep your eyes on what you’re walking toward. When we take those first first steps, there’s often someone we love sitting in front of us with arms open wide, cheering us on. As adults we often focus on what we want to avoid or get away from, but you have the power and cleverness within you to make a different choice. Get really clear about what it is you want to move toward; keep your eyes, mind, and heart on that vision; and feel the courage growing within you becoming stronger than the already fading fear. Everything you want is on the other side of that first step. Now is your moment to take it!